seriously

How could I a) not read this article and b) not pass it on?

Naked man screams about Satan, runs from police

A naked man acting erratically and yelling about Satan shocked some people early Wednesday and gave chase to several Iowa City Police officers.

Sgt. Troy Kelsay said it took seven patrol officers to subdue an 18-year-old man who at least six people witnessed running around naked on the 800 block of Iowa Avenue. Kelsay declined to identify the man.

The first report of man came to officers at 5:55 a.m. Wednesday. The caller said a man was in the median of Iowa Avenue screaming obscenities. Kelsay said that caller gave a clothing description for the man. However, subsequent calls and in-person reports to the police station indicated the man shed his clothes.

Among the multiple witnesses was a woman who said he yelled at her as she walked down Iowa Avenue. Another caller said the man was lying down in the median of the street. Kelsay said the man was showing "very erratic, bizarre behavior."

"He was screaming about heaven, screaming about hell, screaming about Satan," Kelsay said.

When officers arrived on the scene and began speaking to witnesses, the man initially charged them, Kelsay said.

Kelsay said officers temporarily calmed the man down but he became agitated again. After chasing him down, the officers had to restrain the man and place him in handcuffs for his safety and "everyone else's," Kelsay said.

"It seemed pretty apparent he was having some sort of drug-induced reaction," he said.

The man was transported to University Hospitals. Kelsay said he was not charged and he does not anticipate any charges against the man.

Kelsay said the police department has had previous contact with the subject, including a drunken driving arrest stemming from a crash in 2006.