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I'm dedicating this blog post to Megan, who would probably come downtown and beat me up if I didn't post again soon. :)

First things first. I'm doing a 5K on August 22nd. That's in two weeks. Two. There is no way on God's green earth that I will be running it. Nope. Not happening. I will, however, be alternately jogging and walking for my 3.2 miles. I've made two goals for myself: jog up Hay Street (which doesn't really mean a lot to anyone outside of Fayetteville, but for those mildly familiar with the Quad Cities, it's just a tad bit less steep than Brady Street) and then jog back down it at the end. I've re-started my training, in the hopes that I'll be able to run a 5K by the end of the year.

I'm tired of the Fruit of the Loom dancing/singing fruits. They weird me out. And why is the apple the star? Why not the purple grapes? Why not the green grapes? The leaf guy?

I'm reading a really good book right now. Technically, I'm reading two books, but one is better than the other. Unholy Business is amazing. It's about this ossuary that was found in Israel (supposedly in the 70s). For a description of ossuaries, I'll go to the book:

Ossuaries are quite common in Jerusalem. For about ninety years, Jews practiced ossilegium. This method of disposing of the dead involved first closing up the body in a cave for a year. After the flesh had fallen away, the bones were removed from the cave and closed up in a small box--an ossuary--which was sometimes inscribed with a design or a name. Scholars believe the practice was most common among the wealthy, as the peasants couldn't afford the boxes. Today, the ossuaries are so common that unadorned ones serve as planters in Jerusalem gardens, but those with inscriptions can be more valuable.

The ossuary that was found and is discussed in this book had an inscription. It said "Ya'akov bar Yosef achui Yeshua" which means "James, son of Joseph, brother of Jesus". So. According to the book, a scholar or more than one (I don't remember) did some statistical-ness and concluded that only about 20 families in the years when this practice occurred would have had fathers named Joseph and sons named Jesus and James. And yes, this was from the time surrounding Jesus' life. People went nuts. This was proof that Jesus existed and that he had a sibling. Was James Mary's son? Or just Joseph's? I don't know about you, but I don't believe that Mary was a virgin her whole life. I believe she and Joseph had some kids. I also believe the wedding at Cana was Jesus' wedding, but that's neither here nor there. Anyhoo. People were examining and theorizing and researching and being scholarly. People noticed that the inscription on the ossuary didn't quite look right. There are a couple of different scripts, like if I'd written "James, son of Joseph" and someone else added on the "brother of Jesus" part. I'm not done with the book yet, but I'm anxious to see what happens. If you are at all interested or intrigued by Biblical history or archaeology, check it out.

The other book I'm reading is awesome. The author's main thesis is that Oprah is an agent of Satan. And we all know how much I love Oprah. The rest of it is, so far, outrageous and makes me laugh.

I have an update on the lady who called about her phone number. I now know who she thinks is after her. She initially thought it was the FBI and the organized crime people in Chicago. Nope. It's the CIA and Homeland Security. She also was apparently in prison for 15 years, where she was tortured, "like Senator John McCain and other prisoners of war." But she was only in prison in North and South Carolina, not Guantanamo Bay or Abu Ghraib. (I would like to point out that I spelled both of those properly without the use of the interwebs.) I don't know if she realizes that those are both in other countries. I think she's off her meds. But back to her persecution. She's been persecuted for the last 30 years, and she said something about an incident that happened in "the Chicago airport" (does she know there's more than one?). And her friends and family and relatives (because family and relatives aren't the same) don't believe her and they hang up when she calls. But you know who does listen to her? Me. And the nice people at the New York Times. And Bob Woodward. But nothing will ever be done about her persecution because "it's the law" who's involved. She yelled at me this time for 10 minutes. And started crying at some point in the middle. Wow.

I should probably click "publish post" now, because I'm sure this is really long. :)