oh, hello Friday!

Well, it's Friday. I haven't done a Follow Friday post since, well, January. But that doesn't mean I haven't been collecting favorite tweets for you. And a link to exlibris' FF post!

DonaldGlover:

• WHOA! @jessicaalba is following me....
• Just finished doing 300 push-ups. Now off to tutor children! #normaltweetnoteffectedbyjessicaalba
• Crap! I'm late to the "Best Cake Making" and "Most Awesome Massage Giver" awards! #normaltweetnoteffectedbyjessicaalba 
• I spell "affected" "effected" cuz I was hit by a car trying to save a puppy in '96. Effected my brain. #normaltweetnoteffectedbyjessicaalba

GeorgeTakei:

• CAPRICORN: Today is a day for introspection. And Cheetos.
• I broke that Asian driver stereotype by being the best helmsman in the galaxy.

DarthVader:

• Hello sand person. My name is Anakin Skywalker. You killed my mother. Prepare to die.

LoveLibrarian:

• Had a dream last night that I was dating David Boreanaz. He was being chased by a short gypsy woman. In the middle of the Apocalypse.
• Why is it that on the day I have to teach 34 young men-in-uniform, I don't notice my lady-mustache until AFTER I've left my apartment?

MaureenJohnson:

• If I was in charge, dentists would only be allowed to play Abba, and only have pictures of Robert Downey Jr. and zombies on the walls.
• As per the instructions on page 38 of the Friday Manual, I assume you have all constructed your bunkers by now and have gotten inside.

neilgrayston:

• Just saw a pamphlet about illiteracy called "Having trouble reading?" I think they're missing their target demographic a wee bit there.
• Hey guys, I hear the Oscars are super funny and clever and stuff this year, and that the jokes are just superb! Good for them! :D
• Woke up to my cat feverishly licking my elbow today. What a "purr"vert. #PainfulPun #GoingInsane

wilw:

• I've taken 7164 steps today. (Aren't you so glad you follow me on Twitter, so you never miss these scintillating looks at my fancy life?)

jordandanger:

• Just saw an old man in a Bill Cosby sweater whacking dandelions with his cane. It made my day.

judyblume (JUDY BLUME!):

• Why would anyone think I'm writing about vampires? I write realistic fiction. This one set in 50's in NJ but I swear it feels like today.

mommywantsvodka:

• To think, I could be eating bagels, learning the Portuguese word for bird, breastfeeding baby llamas or anywhere but this doctors office.

Rich_Fulcher:

• Does anyone use Clorox Disinfecting Wipes to clean out their nose? I'm experiencing some intense burning I've never felt before.

ScrewyDecimal:

• Would a rational person ask a librarian to use her cell phone and then get mad when she apologetically says no? #thepayphoneisoutside

TheTimEarp:

• I've never seen so many lesbians in one place before. Luckily, I fit right in with my new haircut.

christhile:

• "What a great bag! Is it retro?" - Lady next to me at the same Starbucks, about my mandolin case, which is new and quite hard (for a bag).

shinyinfo:

• Ha! Taco Bell is trying to convince ppl that their meat is legit. Listen, anyone who eats at Taco Bell in the 1st place doesn't give a crap.

leahlibrarian:

• Things I like that make me suspect I'm a little old lady in disguise: CBS Sunday Morning, mysteries, public tv, tiny dogs, space heaters.